I’ve probably stolen a shirt from you before.

Have you ever had someone leave a shirt at your house and instead of giving it back right away you keep it? You know it’s their favorite shirt and everything but… secretly it’s also been your favorite shirt too.

So you wash it. Multiple times depending of the merit of their character, and then you stash it in your closet.  You plan to let it sit there for a couple months in hopes that it will be forgotten by that greedy friend of yours. After about two weeks you realize how long two months is and you decide you’re going to wear it anyways.

There’s a problem though. If they see the shirt it’s game over. The shirt begins controlling your life. You make sure you’re never wearing it on days when you’re around them. Eventually you slip up. You end up hanging out on the same day you’re wearing the shirt. You spend the entire time wondering if they recognize it. Maybe they recognize it but are choosing to ignore it because secretly they stole it from someone else in the first place. Maybe you’re just being overly paranoid? “Chill out,” you tell yourself. You mutter the word “fuck” under your breath as you begin to sweat. You begin coming up excuses. These are followed by more excuses to cover your excuses. Your friend asks what’s the matter. You reply indifferently making sure not to sound like you’re freaking out… But you are.

Finally you can’t take it anymore. “Alright dude I stole your shirt.” He looks at you. You stair back.  “What shirt?” he asks. Then it occurs to you.

Wrong friend.


2 responses to “I’ve probably stolen a shirt from you before.

  1. Hahaha. That’s hilarious! xD

  2. Haha, after that two weeks have gone by, you start to forget who even owns the shirt. lol

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